Tips on Overcoming Social Anxiety in Teens

Before we begin, let me introduce you to Olivia, a sophomore in high school.

Olivia is always worried she will do something embarrassing in front of others. She does not like answering questions asked by her teacher in class and is afraid of presenting in front of her classmates. Olivia is constantly turning down invites to parties. She gets her mother to order her meals at restaurants and make phone calls for her appointments. She prefers to hide in the background, where she feels she will be safe from any negative judgment from others.

Olivia is suffering from social anxiety, but she doesn’t know what to do about it.

If you think you may be suffering from social anxiety, like Olivia, keep reading to learn more about how to manage it.

What is Social Anxiety?

At the basic level, social anxiety refers to fear or worry related to interactions in social situations.
It is normal for teens to get anxious about public speaking or going on a first date. However, for those with social anxiety, the fears and thoughts are too intense, cause high stress and make the person avoid activities of daily living that could bring joy into their life.

People with Social Anxiety Disorder, experience an intense form of anxiety that significantly impairs their daily lives. It may appear in the elementary years but commonly emerges during early adolescence. Since adolescence is a time when feelings of belonging and being approved by peers are crucial for their self-esteem, having resources to help themselves can make a huge difference in their mood and sense of safety in the world.

Signs of Social Anxiety in Teens

Thoughts:

• Extremely self-critical and have a negative self-image
• Constantly thinking about the worst-case scenario
• Excessive self-consciousness, worrying others will think negatively of you
• Worrying you will embarrass yourself or say the wrong thing
• Being afraid of speaking or performing publicly
• Fear that others will notice that you are anxious

Feelings such as:

• Anxiety/fear, worry, embarrassment, shame, anger, sadness, helplessness, irritability
• You may feel also feel physical symptoms because of social anxiety. They may include stomach pain or butterflies, shallow breathing, shaking, blushing, sweating, shortness of breath, dizziness, tense muscles, irritability

Actions such as:

• You may avoid social situations or participate in new activities, eg. parties, dating, hanging out with friends, job interviews, small talk, using public bathrooms, making phone calls, talking with “authority” figures, ordering food, etc.
• Avoid going to school or participating in class. eg. refusing to take tests or exams, presenting in front of the class, asking or answering questions, talking to classmates, participating in group work, skipping class.  You may mumble, maintain poor eye contact with others, stay quiet

How to Manage Your Social Anxiety

Social anxiety in teens can lead to poor academic performance, low confidence in social situations, drug or alcohol dependence, and trouble developing or maintaining social relationships. This is why getting help to learn how to manage your social anxiety is crucial.

Here are some helpful tips:

Change your Lifestyle:

Maintain a healthy daily routine that includes exercise and getting enough sleep to reduce anxiety symptoms. Additionally, try limiting your caffeine intake,
as coffee can amplify symptoms of anxiety.

Address Physical Symptoms:

Decrease negative physical feelings of social anxiety by practicing mindfulness, meditation, yoga, deep breathing, and muscle relaxation

Fight your threatening Thoughts:

Try addressing your worries in a more realistic way by asking yourself the following questions:

• Is it likely the outcome I’m so afraid of will actually happen?
• If it happened, will I care about it in 5-10 years?
• Is it possible that something good could happen instead of bad?

Shift your Focus:

Try focusing on the task at hand rather than your thoughts and feelings of anxiety. This will allow you to get things done.

Fact vs Fiction:

Recognize your inner monologue is notoriously self-critical and that anxiety is your body’s way of protecting you. Don’t feel ashamed about your social anxiety but remember you’re not a mind reader or fortune teller!

Face your Fears:

Start with the least scary task and see if you can push yourself to do it. Then slowly start exposing yourself to the harder stuff. Before you know it, you’ll be more comfortable in anxiety-provoking situations.

In this video, a young teen gives a ted-talk about her struggles with social anxiety and how she
overcame it:

If you want to learn more about confidence-building skills, you can check out this book: The Shyness and Social Anxiety Workbook for Teens  by Jennifer Shannon

When to Get Professional Help

If you find it difficult to manage your social anxiety on your own, or you are worried you may
have a social anxiety disorder, it may be helpful to see a therapist and get a proper diagnosis.
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) is one of the most effective ways to treat social anxiety. A
therapist knowledgeable and experienced in CBT can help you overcome your fears by teaching
you how to challenge your unhelpful thoughts, relaxation strategies, and guiding you towards
exposure so you can feel comfortable around others.